Always Slipping
by LilMissMuffet
Summary: Buffy skips town without telling anyone.
1. Further Away

Disclaimer: I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! All bow to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, rightful owners of BTVS. 'Previously on Buffy' quoted directly from show.

Spoiler: Anything and Everything. Takes place after season 7.

Summary: Buffy skips town without telling anyone.

Feedback always more than welcome! Good or bad, tell it to me straight.

Rated M for mature ;-)

Always Slipping: Further Away

**Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer**

Buffy sits down at the dinning room table, grateful not to be alone. She was beginning to really enjoy these moments shared with Willow. What with Dawn at school all day one would think they talked all the time, yet Buffy had work and Wil had classes of her own. They were drifting apart, and while these chats helped reconnect they mostly just made Buffy feel more alone. "I thought you were going to see Tara."

Willow looked up from her laptop. "Saw her. Saw her completely." Willow keeps her answer short but her mind rambles on. 'Don't know what I saw but I didn't like it. Nope, not one bit.'

"Ouch." Buffy begins to grin but quickly stops. "Just got a scratch from all that brittle."

Willow closes the laptop, giving all attention to Buffy. "Its when I was seeing her, she was seeing someone else." Willow pauses, "A girl."

Buffy can't help but be surprised that Tara is moving on already. For some unknown reason this pleases the slayer. "You mean..?

Willow backtracks slightly. "I mean not "seeing" seeing. Well, maybe. I don't know. It was inconclusive. And I didn't stick around to find out." Willow idly plays with her fingers. "I might have magicked my fist through a wall or something."

Buffy feels bad for her friend. She isn't sure why she's happy things with Tara could really be over, but she doesn't know why she feels the way she does about anything anymore. I mean, hello... sleeping with a vampire she hates. "Wil, I'm sorry."

Willow tries to make the best of it but isn't very convincing. "They're probably just friends. I press my lips against my friends all the time.

'I wish...'

'I wish...'

Both girls quickly banish that thought from their minds, looking away from each other. "I'm sure they're just friends." Again Buffy finds herself trying to hide a grin as she looks up. Willow lip pressing... nice mental image. She reaches out for Willow's hand. "Once you fall for Willow, you stay fallen."

The girls smile at each other. Willow looks at her friend and briefly wonders if her mind is playing tricks on her. Buffy's acting a little interested. "Thanks Buffy." Before she can dwell on what she thinks she's seeing Xander comes back and spoils the moment.

Buffy sits alone in the living room, feet curled up underneath her. Staring at the picture of her parents with a happy, childlike Buffy wasn't helping. It's just making her more depressed. Could she really be in that clinic still? If she is, that means her mom is alive. Her parents are still together. She could live a normal life. Maybe all this is just in her head...

Willow comes into the room, pleased and excited. "Look Buffy, I found the demon. It fits your description and symptoms perfectly." Willow joins Buffy on the couch and holds out the picture. "Look, is this it?" Buffy nods numbly, Willow came through. "See, it's gonna be okay. It's pokey stinger carries an antidote to it's own poison."

Buffy isn't even listening. Staring at the picture, she realizes that if she's at the clinic then Willow isn't real. She's just some figment of Buffy's imagination, so why was she imagining... Hell, why would she imagine any of this? "I feel so lost."

"I know." Willow watches Buffy, "You're confused. Its that crazy juice inside you."

Buffy has to make her understand... "It's more than that. Even before the demon. I've been so detached."

Willow acknowledges this, but she's been pretty distant herself this year. For the past couple years even. "We've all been kind of slumming."

Buffy doesn't want to hear how everyone else is feeling it too. She wants to be selfish, to put an end to this one way or another. "Everyday I try to snap out of it... figure out why I'm like that."

Willow starts getting worried now. "Buffy look at me. You are not in an institution. You have never been in an institution." She doesn't want her friend to be so scared. It doesn't matter what it takes, Willow knows she'll do anything to make sure Buffy beat this.

"Yes I have."

Buffy catches Willow off guard. "What?"

"Back when I saw my first vampires." Buffy looks back and forth between her family picture and Willow. She doesn't know how she's gonna choose one or the other. "I got so scared. I told my parents and they completely freaked out. They thought there was something seriously wrong with me. So they sent me to a clinic."

Willow's shock was glaringly obvious. She can't wrap her mind around what Buffy must have went through. "Y...you never said anything." Willow isn't mad, just confused. Why hadn't Buffy told her about this before?

Buffy continues. "I was only there a couple of weeks. I stopped talking about it... and they let me go. Eventually... my parents just forgot."

At first Willow can't believe they'd just forget. Then she remembers Joyce and her own mom trying to burn them at the stake one day and acting like everything was normal the next. "God. That's horrible."

Buffy just cannot hold back any longer. She is so afraid of the truth and knows she can trust Willow for support. Trying hard not to cry and failing, she asks Wil the hard questions. "What if I'm still there? What if I never left that clinic?"

"Buffy..." Willow immediately goes into protective mode. "Buffy, you're not. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But its the past. You've gotta trust me. We're gonna get you that antidote. Xander's hunting the demon right now."

Buffy almost feels better. "Alone? Willow, he can't. It's too strong."

"It's okay. We got help." Willow reaches out and takes Buffy's hand. The contact warms Buffy and she sits up, wrapping her arms around Willow and crying on her shoulder. The redhead holds her best friend in her arms, rocking slowly until she calms down. Rubbing her back and playing with her hair, Willow eventually gets Buffy to agree to rest. She leads the slayer upstairs and helps her into bed, leaving her to get some sleep.

Hours later, Willow goes up to Buffy's room. "Buffy, wake up. Got yummy antidote goodness for you."

Buffy notices Wil coming in. "What happened?"

Willow feels bad Buffy had to wait for the antidote. "It took a little longer than I had hoped. No magic and all. It went boom twice, but then I got it." She moves to Buffy's bed and hands her the cup. "Just, when it's cooled, drink it all down... and everything should go back to normal."

Buffy looks up at her friend. She doesn't know what to believe anymore, but she knows she can always count on Willow. "You never stop coming through. Thank you, Willow."

Wil smiles, feeling closer to Buffy than she has in a long time and despite the circumstances she's enjoying it. Unfortunately, Spike chooses that moment to check on the slayer. Willow isn't sure what's going on with him and Buffy but figures they'll work it out themselves. She stops in front of Spike. "Make sure she drinks all that."

Now if Willow had known the extent of Buffy and Spike's relationship she might not have trusted Spike with that task. But she did, and he failed. Instead he spends the time with Buffy working her up and convincing her she's crazy. She ultimately pours out the antidote and systematically takes down each of her friends as well as her sister. She can't possibly kill them herself so she sets the demon loose. Bunkering down in the corner, she tries hard not to watch. She's able to block out Xander, even Dawn. Tara coming in throws her but she trips the witch and watches as her friends try to battle the demon. One by one they all go down but when the demon goes for Willow, Buffy can't handle it.

No matter what's going on in her head, what feelings she has or doesn't have, whether she wants her mommy and daddy or her friends, she remembers a lesson learned a long time ago... she cannot let Willow be hurt. So instead, she says goodbye to her mother and chooses the Hellmouth. When it's all said and done, all she can do is turn to Willow, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Willow just looks wildly at her, not understanding but understanding. "Buffy?"

"We're okay. It's all okay." Xander looks around but no one's really listening to him.

Willow takes a few steps towards Buffy. "Buffy, sit down. You'll fall over."

"No." Buffy shakes her head. "I can't. Not until I have the antidote."

"Okay. We'll make more." Willow reassures Buffy. "Every thing's gonna be okay, Buffy."

Buffy has her doubts, but with Willow there she knows it will be eventually.

b Further Away /b

Three Years Later

Buffy makes a final walk through, checking all the cupboards and drawers for things she might have forgotten. Luckily, her slayer strength and endurance increased so much after Willow's spell years ago so she was able to pack so quickly. Grateful for small blessings Buffy turns off all the lights and goes into the living room. A horn honks outside and she picks up her bags, stepping out onto the porch and locking the door.

Willow pulls up just in time to see Buffy make her way down the walk towards the street. Willow looks at the bags Buffy is carrying and wonders what's up. Jumping out of the Jeep, she crosses the lawn, taking a bag from Buffy before they even say hi. "What's the hurry? Something bad going down? I can rally the troops and deploy when needed."

"Just got some personal things I need to take care of." Buffy tosses her suitcase and backpack into the trunk. Willow follows just a step behind with the other bag. As Willow sets the bag in the car and closes the trunk she catches Buffy staring oddly at her. "I love you Wil."

Willow isn't sure what's with Buffy's tone but smiles nonetheless. Those were her favorite three words that Buffy's ever said. She doesn't hear it often though which just makes it more special. "Of course. I love you too Buffy. Gonna be gone long?"

Buffy shrugs slightly, "I'm not sure how long... could be a while."

Willow frowns, causing a slight crease at the bridge of her nose which Buffy loves. Before she even realizes she's doing, Buffy steps up to Willow and presses her lips against the redheads. At first Willow wasn't surprised. Buffy had taken to pecking her on the cheek, although this was the first time her own lips were involved. Then there was Buffy pulling back slightly, a look of embarrassment on her face, before kissing her again. Willow face shows her confusion, "You okay Buff?"

"Yeah," Buffy forces a smile. "I'm just gonna miss you most of all."

"I'll miss you too. Call when you get wherever you're going." Willow steps back as Buffy makes her way to the passenger door of the cab, giving Willow a half hearted nod in response. "Where are you going anyway?"

Buffy climbs into the cab and rolls the window down, sticking her head out for just a moment. "Be careful Wil..."

Willow stares at the fleeing car in confusion, wondering what had gotten into her friend. "Bye Buffy."

Two Years Later

Willow slams her laptop closed in frustration. It has been almost a two years since she said goodbye to Buffy, not realizing her slayer wasn't returning. No one has a clue where she's gone, not even Dawn. No amount of looking seems to be helping either. Willow has files upon files on her computer of possible sightings and rumors of someone fighting demons. Each lead she receives she follows up on, but she has never had any results.

Dawn took it the hardest of course, but she seems to be the one who has adjusted the easiest. It's a sad fact that the girl has had to deal with losing almost everyone she loves in one way or another. In her mind Buffy has been attacked and lost, because that's the only reason Dawn could come up with for Buffy just vanishing. Willow hadn't the heart to tell her if someone had managed to kill Buffy, it'd be all over the demon world. They definitely would hear about someone taking down the legendary slayer. Xander just got pissed when he heard how she said goodbye to Willow without letting on. Willow thinks he never forgave her for sleeping with Spike when she wouldn't even date him. Wil however, still doesn't believe it. She keeps looking, convinced that Buffy wouldn't just up and leave, despite all the proof. The phone ringing interrupts Willow's daydream on what she'd do if she found Buffy. When, when she finds Buffy. She has to remind herself that she will, a lot more often than she used to. Walking across the room, Willow picks up the phone. "Rosenberg."

"Hey Wil," Kennedy says over the wire. "How ya been?"

"Same as always." Willow takes the phone over to the table and sits down, opening her lap top up again to peruse the morning paper, looking for anything that might lead to Buffy. "How's the family?"

"Um, I'm doing alright but Vicki's got the flu so I'm stuck changing all the diapers while she watches TV in bed all day." Kennedy whined like a child.

"Aren't you a whipped lil bitch." Willow still isn't sure how Kennedy became the first of them all to settle down with a family.

"Ouch! What side of whose bed did you wake up on?" Willow's use of profanity catches Kennedy off guard. Willow only uses those words when something was going on with her.

"The wrong side of mine." Willow gives up skimming articles while on the phone, leaning back and lighting a cigarette.

"I can hear that! I thought you quit!" Kennedy has been trying to get Willow to quit since she saw her pick up her first pack.

"I lied." Willow secretly loved shocking Kennedy. "So, I know you can't go a week without hearing my loverly voice but why'd you call?"

"Right, back to business." Willow hears Kennedy shuffle some pages around. "Remember Mexico?"

"That country under us? Vaguely." Willow could hear Kennedy groaning. "Of course. We vacationed there after destroying my hometown."

"Remember that little village fifty miles from no where? The one that was seriously in trouble due to undesirables roaming the streets at night."

"Yeah, high death rate, low body count. It's a breeding ground, just like Sunnydale but in ruins." Willow knew Kennedy had a point but she wasn't getting there fast enough. "Oddly my favorite stop on our vacation. What of it?"

"Well, now it's prospering. Businesses are popping up and the death rate is 75 less than last year at this time." Kennedy reads off an article.

"And you think it's Buffy?" Willow is definitely surprised Kennedy is calling with a Buffy lead.

"Could be." Kennedy pauses, flipping a few pages. "There are rumors of a small girl who fights back."

"Description?" Willow asks, growing more interested.

"Pretty, petite but brunette, not blond." Kennedy puts the papers down. "I know Buffy's blond and all but it matches otherwise. She could have dyed her hair."

"Stopped dying you mean." Willow assumes Kennedy knows but her silence says otherwise. "She's not a natural blond."

"Ooh? And how do you know?" Kennedy was grinning into the phone knowing Willow was flushing a nice shade of pink.

"Not that way..." Willow thinks back to showers after gym. "Well, actually that way too but I knew before."

"WHAT? When? You never told me you finally got Buffy!" Kennedy is the shocked one now. "You bitch, keeping this to yourself."

"Calm down... I didn't get with Buffy," Willow laughs. "I took gym with her, we showered together... things get seen."

"You scoped her out in the shower? Weren't you like in love with Xander then?" Kennedy asks.

"Well, yeah. But I wasn't blind. She was..." Willow begins thinking about her past with Buffy. "...the first girl I ever thought of that way."

Willow spies Buffy sitting against a tree outside of school. Walking slowly, almost shyly, she approaches her. "Deep thoughts?"

"Deep and meaningful." Buffy replies. She has been thinking about how she gave up their best chance at defeating the mayor without a second thought, all for Willow. She has to admit Wes has a point, thousands of lives could be in danger because she couldn't let Willow be harmed.

Willow is intrigued. She has been thinking similar thoughts and is curious to know if Buffy's choice was based solely on friendship. Willow has been entertaining thoughts of something special brewing between the two. "As in?"

Buffy thinks about it a moment, "As in I'm never getting out of here." Buffy isn't lying. Along with thinking about Willow came her future. The mayor said her and Angel had no future. And even though Buffy's thoughts about Willow went a little on the wild side sometimes, she couldn't act on them. Willow had a bright future ahead of her. "I kept thinking if I stopped the mayor or... but I was kidding myself. There's always gonna be something. I'm Sunnydale girl. No other choice."

Willow feels bad for her best friend. Buffy deserves a chance at happiness just as much, if not more than anyone. "It must be tough. I mean, here I am... and I can do anything I want. I can go to any college in the country... four or five in Europe if I want."

Buffy internally groans. Does Wil really have to remind her that she's going to be Willowless next year? "Please tell me you're going somewhere with this."

Willow slyly looks Buffy in the eye, "No. I'm not going anywhere." Willow reaches into her pocket and hands Buffy an envelope.

"U.C. Sunnydale?" Buffy is dumbfounded. She doesn't know why Willow bothered applying to a local school.

Willow coyly shrugs. "I will be matriculating with the class of 2003." She knows her parents won't be thrilled. She actually just decided the night Faith captured her. When Buffy risked the world to save her, Willow knew for sure she could never leave her.

Buffy still can't believe it. "Are you serious?"

"Say," Willow acts like she just thought of something. "...isn't that where you're going?"

"Oh!" Buffy can't help herself. She tackles Willow to the ground with a big hug and the girls squeal with delight. "I can't believe it. Are you serious?" Buffy realizes that as much as she wants this, she can't be selfish. Willow deserves much more out of life. "Wait, what am I saying? You can't."

Willow sits up, looking at Buffy. "What do you mean I can't?"

"I won't let you." Buffy replies, looking her friend in the eyes.

Willow scoffs. "Of the two people here... which is the boss of me?"

Buffy won't be dissuaded. "There are better schools."

"Sunnydale's not bad... and, and I can design my own curriculum." Willow has thought this out. She knows Buffy better than Buffy does most days. Willow is prepared to answer every argument her slayer has to offer. Nothing Buffy can say will stop Willow from staying with her.

"Ok, well..." Buffy runs off lists in her head. "...there are safer schools. There are safer prisons." Buffy just feels too guilty for wanting Willow to stay. "I can't let you stay because of me."

"Actually, this isn't about you." Buffy is taken aback and thinks it's obvious the way Willow continues. "Although I'm fond... don't get me wrong... of you." Willow isn't really lying, she does have other reasons. "But the other night... you know, being captured and all... facing off with Faith... things just... kinda got clear." 'And some things got more confusing,' Willow adds in her head. "I mean, you've been fighting evil here for three years... and I've helped some... and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And I just realized that's what I want to do." Willow shrugs off the revelation. "Fight evil, help people. I mean... I .. I think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy... and I want in."

Buffy stares at Willow during her speech with awe. She can't believe Willow thought all that about what her and the others do. She's so caught off guard that she speaks without really knowing what she's saying. "I kind of love you."

Willow gets a lil shy and looks down briefly. She wasn't expecting her slayer to tell her she loved her. Willow still doesn't understand the thoughts her slayer provokes, but she likes them. Rather than dwell on the fluttery butterflies in her tummy she changes the topic. "And besides, I have a shot at being a badass Wicca. And what better place to learn."

Buffy agrees with the topic change, neither girls really ready to think about what they were feeling. "I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle."

Willow is intrigued. "Mochas?"

"Yes please," Buffy says with a silly grin. Both girls get up and start walking. Buffy just had to cap the moment off with some sort of reassurance. "Its weird. You look at something and you think you know exactly what you're seeing and..." Buffy looks over at Willow. "...then you find out it's something else entirely."

Willow understands exactly what Buffy means. Things were changing... "Neat, huh?"

Buffy moves a little closer to her friend. "Sometimes it is..."

"Wil! Earth to Willow..." Kennedy has been trying to get Willow's attention for a couple minutes.

"Huh? Oh, sorry... was just thinking." Willow says, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming again.

"About Buffy showers?" Kennedy eggs her on.

"No, about the day I realized I might not be as straight as I thought..." Willow admits. That conversation had sent her mind reeling.

"And that wasn't a Buffy shower?" Kennedy teases.

"Nope, it was us, beneath a tree, just talking." Willow says, summing it up nicely. "Anyway, thanks for the tip. I'll go check it out this weekend."

"Anytime. If you find anything out, or need help, just give me a ring." Kennedy offers, glad her and Willow were still friends.

"Thanks... say hi to Vicki and give the baby a kiss for me." Willow replies, already searching for flights to Mexico on her computer. There hasn't been a decent lead in a long time, but even if this is bogus its still Mexico. It'll be nice to get away.

"Will do Wil," Kennedy says and Willow can hear the grin. "Be safe."

"Always," Willow answers before hanging up the phone and booking her flight.

A week later, Willow's still searching the streets but contemplating giving up and flying home the next day. She's checked out the normal haunts... shady bars and the cemeteries. Needless to say she has uncovered only what Kennedy had already told her. And while that still sounds promising, Willow hasn't caught sight of anyone fighting demons. Or any demons for that matter. The village has turned itself into a small town. In a year or two this could be the new hot spot.

Unfortunately, while she was resting against a tree, her first vampire got the best of her. Pulling her behind the tree, he had his fangs in her neck before she could utter a word. The pain is delicious and Willow melts into it. Luckily her experience is short lived. Before she realizes what has happened, the vampire is dust she has to brush off her shoulder. Turning, her eyes go wide. "Buffy."

Buffy flinches slightly, " Whatcha doing here Wil?"

"Came to ask you that very same question." With Buffy face to face Willow realizes just how angry she feels.

Buffy steps closer, tearing off a piece of her shirt and holds it against the wounds on Willow's neck to stop the bleeding. She's been bitten by an experienced vampire so it was painless, but still a little messy. "Just living my life."

"Since when can't we be in your life. Your sister? Xander?" Willow has tears in her eyes but refuses to cry. "Me? What'd we do, huh?"

"Nothing... I just needed a change. I was miserable in that place." Buffy let go of Wil's neck, letting her hold the cloth herself. Turning her back to Willow, she began to pace slowly.

"Then move.. I get that. But to totally cut everyone out? That was selfish." Willow tosses the piece of cloth onto the ground, pulling out her cigarettes and lighting up. When Buffy turns around Willow realizes she had done the same thing. "Thousands of miles between us and we still pick the same habits."

Buffy shrugs and takes a drag. "Look, I did what I had to do."

"Why did you have to do it? Why did you have to leave me with all those unanswered questions!" Willow leans against a headstone, finding it fitting they hash this out in a graveyard.

"What questions did I leave unanswered?" Buffy begins to get confused. She understands Willow being mad that she hadn't contacted anyone, but not the rest.

Willow throws up her hands and sighs. "You tell me you love me and kiss me as you leave for good. That leaves a girl with a few questions. What exactly were you saying to me that day?"

"Goodbye." Buffy says simply.

"So that's it?" Willow sounds hurt. "A soft kiss, sweet parting words... that's all my friendship was worth?"

Tears were welling up in Willow's eyes but Buffy looks almost bored, causing her words to seem untrue. "No... you're worth so much more. But after everything she couldn't handle it and I did what I had to."

"What are you talking about? Who couldn't handle what?" Willow is beyond lost.

"Buffy! She's in love with you, are you that daft?" Buffy wipes her eyes and laughs softly. "How could you not know?"

TBC


	2. Can't Take It

Willow rubs her eyes, obviously exhausted but trying hard to comprehend. "You're in love with me?"

Buffy moves her head sideways in a lazy figure eight, "Yeah, in a way."

"You aren't making any sense." Willow's head begins to hurt from the emotional toll seeing Buffy has caused as well as the oddball things Buffy is saying. "You either are or you aren't."

"Follow me." Buffy turns and walks away. Willow realizes she needs to move quick or Buffy will disappear again.

Willow falls in line a few steps behind Buffy and is led to the back of the cemetery. Buffy pushes a broken gate open and continues on into the woods. Willow starts to slow her pace, the darkness surrounding her making it hard to find her way through the trees. Buffy notices this and waits for her to catch up, taking her hand and guiding her through the trees slowly. Without thinking, Willow intertwines their fingers together and each girl holds a little tighter.

After about a mile hike, Buffy stops on a hilltop. The stars shine clear over head, helping the moon light up the area with a startling bright light. A small log cabin rests at the bottom of the hill. "You live here?"

"Yeah," Buffy lets go of Willow's hand and starts down. "What's wrong with it?"

Willow doesn't respond. Rather she takes slow steps down the hill, trying to see as much as she could of where Buffy has made her home. Once inside, she realizes just how small it is. There's a twin bed in one corner, a stool next to that with a few books, and a small table and chair with a camping stove. A duffel bag at the foot of the bed serves as a dresser. Willow can't hide the surprise on her face. "On the move a lot?"

"Been here about eight months." Buffy digs through a chest Willow hadn't noticed and produces two beers. She turns and passes one to Willow and digs a bottle out of her duffel. "I don't require much."

"So I see," Willow sits on the edge of the bed and opens her beer. "You're like a hermit."

"Not really," Buffy sits on the table, her feet resting on the only chair in the room. "I spend most of my time in town." Buffy pours three tablets onto her hand and tosses them in her mouth, swallowing them with a healthy gulp of beer.

"No one recognized the picture of you." Willow says, pulling it out of her pocket, pretending to ignore Buffy taking whatever shes taking.

Buffy doesn't have to get up, only lean forward to take it from her. "Why this one?"

"Ken's lead said a brunette was down here. The only time I've seen you brunette was Halloween."

"Well, same color, different look." Buffy tosses the picture back, taking a long sip and effectively finishing her drink.. "You've walked past me twice this week."

"What?" Willow asks surprised. She looks Buffy over slowly, the long blond locks are long gone. Buffy's hair is dark brown and spiky, slightly longer than Spike used to wear his hair. She's wearing very little, if any, make up. Her muscles are more defined and she has very little color on. All her clothes are dark and dirty. Not the Buffy Willow remembers. "When?"

"Tuesday night, I was sitting at the bar sipping a beer, you asked the bartender about me." Willow's hand covers her mouth and Buffy can't help but be amused. "Then tonight as you were leaving town, you brushed past me in more of a hurry than I was."

"That's how you knew where I was?" Willow asks, finally remembering Buffy had saved her life again. "Following me?"

"No, I let you go. I just happened to be heading home when I saw you get bit." Buffy sets the empty down. "I wasn't going to tell you you'd finally found me, but I couldn't let you die either."

"Well... thanks, I guess." Willow grows visibly uncomfortable with this new Buffy. "So, you had some things to explain..."

"You know what DID is?" Buffy asks, climbing off the table and getting a second beer. She pulls the chair in front of Willow and straddles it.

Willow thinks for a moment, "Split personalities?"

"Very good." Buffy figured she'd know, Willow had always been the brightest of them.

"No," Willow shakes her head. "You don't have alters Buffy, I'd know. I spent all my time with you for how many years?"

"We spent all our time together but doing separate things Wil. Those last few years... our friendship suffered. We really didn't know each other as anything but allies." Buffy reminds.

"So you're telling me I just missed my best friend's mental breakdown?" Willow's head shakes more violently from side to side. "No... no way."

"I just wanted to make sure you knew the concept. What's going on with me is only similar." Buffy takes another drink and watches as Willow sits back, collecting her thoughts. "You know there's the Buffy side and the Slayer side right? Think of that as two alters."

Willow sets her bottle down as she tries to follow what Buffy is saying. "Okay..."

"Now, the slayer usually dominates. Look at Kendra, all about the slay. Even Faith was all about the kill, anything else was just a game to her. But me, I had a life, family, friends, love..." Buffy pauses to take a sip and Willow nods, following this line of thinking easily. "...that all made the Buffy side stronger which conflicted with the Slayer." Buffy pauses again and finishes her drink, setting the empty on the table. "For a while it wasn't a problem but as the years went on, the strain became too much. As Buffy spiraled down into a depression the slayer began to dominate more, influencing her choices. And as life got harder that's how she wanted it, she didn't want to be Buffy anymore."

"So I'm supposed to believe I'm not talking to Buffy?" Willow raises an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"I know and feel everything she does, she just feels it more. I don't have a need for emotions so I can choose to ignore them. It's like two sides of a coin." Willow quietly nods as Buffy continues. "I go by Joan if you're wondering."

"And all this has to do with why you left?" Willow tries to steer the conversation away from this alter talk for a while. It was all making Buffy/Joan out a little too crazy.

"Buffy gave up, she didn't care anymore. She let the slayer take control because she felt that was the only way to feel any lasting peace." Joan says, standing up and lighting a cigarette.

"So," Willow snaps her fingers and Joan tosses the pack to her. Willow methodically lights her cigarette, slowly inhaling and standing up. Scratching the side of her head she looks to Joan. "You're Joan... the vampire slayer. You don't give a lick for Buffy and her emotional baggage. You're all about the slay and thats enough. That about the jist?"

Joan sits back down, relaxing as she nods. "Basically, yeah."

"Alright," Willow opens the door and walks out, waving behind her as she says, "Thanks for the smoke."

Joan sits there watching Willow walk into the trees, surprised to see it was morning already. The door finally closes on its own and she puffs on her cigarette. "What just happened?" Knowing no one was there to answer she shrugs it off. "If she wants to leave, she can leave. I didn't want her here anyway."

Willow pauses on top of the hill, looking down at the small cabin and waits. A few minutes later she watches Buffy/Joan comes outside. Willow's smile dies as she watches her walk around to the side of the house, entering what appears to be an outdoor shower. Willow shakes her head, disappointed the slayer didn't care enough to stop Willow. Sighing, Willow realizes at least now she knows for sure. Turning, she enters the woods, finding the hike back to town easier with the rising sun.

After washing up and resting throughout the morning, Willow makes a few calls and books a seat on a bus three days later, the earliest she could due to an airline strike. Willow spends that time keeping to herself mostly. She does some shopping, buying souvenirs for everyone back home. She decides to tell them the lead was a bust and that she just had a little vacation. She's not sure what the hell to tell them about what she's learned so for now she's keeping it to herself.

Joan sticks with her normal routine and soon spots Willow far easier than Willow could spot her. She can tell Willow is looking for her but from the body language Joan figures it's to avoid, not engage. That was fine with her, the redhead sticks out like a sore thumb and Joan finds it easy to duck out of the way anytime their paths might cross.

The next night Willow strikes up a casual conversation with a couple girls vacationing from Atlanta and they invite her out for the night. Willow feels a desperate need to find the fun and wastes no time agreeing. To Willow's surprise, the girls pick her up in a car and take her to the nearest city. There they go to a loud, very crowded night club. Willow isn't used to Latin music but finds it inviting. The whole place has a very seductive atmosphere which immediately begins to relax Willow. After a round of tequila shots all three girls lose themselves in the crowd of dancers.

Joan had followed Willow home the first time she spotted her. She figured she needed to know exactly where Willow was staying so she could avoid the area. Somehow though she winds up in that neighborhood more often than not. As a sure fire way to avoid the fiery redhead, Joan brings her Harley out of the shed and takes off. When she arrives at that same night club only an hour after Willow, she goes in with a nod to the bouncer. Joan saved him a few months back and has been getting free drinks here since.

Joan orders a shot with a beer and makes her way to the back of the club, sitting down at a booth with some people she's friendly with. She has trouble following their conversation, as usual. She isn't very good picking up second languages and consequently doesn't know much Spanish. When her friends get drunk Joan has an especially hard time following the slurs. She just sips her beer and people watches. Being alone in a crowd is something she's good at. Shortly after her second round her friends all leave for the dance floor. Joan's not against dancing, but she doesn't feel up to it tonight. Instead she tips back her drink, watching the others have fun. It takes all of two minutes for two of her friends to matriculate near a pale redhead.

Willow hasn't had this much fun in forever. She can't remember how many shots she's had and she doesn't seem to care as she tosses back another. Jen and Angie follow suit and soon both girls pull Willow out onto the dance floor again. They sandwich Willow between them as their bodies move to the Latin beats. Joan's eye stumbles upon them as Jen rolls her hips slowly down Willow's body as she drops to the floor. Willow, for her part looking really drunk, leans back against Angie who is grinding on Wil from behind, hands wandering and barely missing Willow's danger zones. Joan doesn't even realize the low growl coming out of her parted mouth as her eyes narrow.

Willow closes her eyes and is suddenly dizzy. She rests back on Angie to help stay on her feet. Jen stands up and slips between Willow and Angie, kissing the latter. Willow spins around in a drunken circle still thinking they're dancing when she feels arms reach out and pull her . Next she feels a warm body pressing against her and urgent lips attacking hers. With her eyes half closed, Willow instinctively kisses back, holding onto the aggressor so she doesn't fall on her ass.

Joan's out of her seat, hopping over the railing and at Willow's side in less than five seconds. She grips the other girls shoulder tightly, pushing her away as she catches Willow's limp body with her other arm. Willow's arms reach up and grab Joan, needing to steady herself as she regains her footing. "What the..."

Joan glares at the woman who kissed Willow. "Take a walk."

The woman smirks, wiping her mouth. Looking from Willow to Joan, she figures the drunk wasn't worth the beating and backs away slowly. Angie and Jen come over to help Willow but Joan glares at them too. "I've got it. Goodnight."

Angie steps in front of Joan, stopping her from moving off the dance floor. "Who are you?"

"A friend." Joan says, narrowing her gaze. "I've known her a lot longer than you."

Jen shakes her head, "We don't know that. She came with us and we can't just let some stranger take off with her..."

Willow shakes her head, rubbing her eyes. "It's okay," she groans out. "I know her."

Joan looks at Willow, surprised she hadn't puked yet with all the jarring movements. She raises an eyebrow, staring the girls down. They shrug their shoulders, "Alright, if she says so."

The fresh air does Willow some good. Joan props her up against the building as she retrieves her bike. Willow takes a few deep breaths and her head clears, allowing her to recall the past few minutes. When Joan comes back she holds out the helmet for Willow. "Get on."

"No thanks," Willow shakes her head. "I'll catch a cab."

"This isn't New York Wil, it's kinda hard to catch a ride." Joan gets off the bike and approaches Willow. Brushing Wil's hair behind her ear, Joan takes a good look at Willow's face. "You look better. Feeling okay?"

Willow jerks her head away from Joan's touch. "I'm fine. I was fine inside, I didn't need rescuing."

"That woman was..."

Willow interrupts, "...kissing me. Yeah, I know. We flirted a little earlier, guess she saw an opening. So what?"

"You wanted to kiss her?" Joan asks, almost sounding disgusted.

"Would it matter if I did?" Willow asks.

Joan throws up her arms , climbing back on the bike. "Fine, go party. I don't know why I bothered."

"Me neither," Willow spits out. "You don't care. Why are you here anyway? Following me again? Like you weren't the last time you stumbled upon me?"

"I didn't follow you!" Joan defends herself, wondering if that's really true. "I come here all the time." Joan chooses her words carefully, trying to keep her temper in check. "Why haven't you left town yet?"

Willow pushes herself off the wall, lighting a cigarette. "I leave tomorrow morning, first ticket out of town I could get. On a bus no less!" Willow waves her cigarette in the air. "Hope I didn't inconvenience you with my extended stay, I did avoid you as best as I could."

"You're leaving tomorrow?" Joan questions quietly.

"That's what I said." Willow can't place the emotion behind the question so she keeps it simple. "And I'm not telling anyone I found you so your secret life is safe. Although Dawn will kill me if this ever comes out..." Willow moves to the curb and whistles. To Joan's astonishment a cab pulls up. Willow steps on her cigarette, opening the back door. "Goodbye Joan." The last thing Joan sees Willow do is lean forward as the driver pulls away. Joan slams her helmet onto her head. Spinning the back tire in frustration she speeds off towards home.

Joan parks her bike next to the cabin and immediately walks into the woods, back towards town. Picking up speed quickly, she's soon at an all out run She reaches the cemetery inside of five minutes and starts patrolling. She has so much energy flowing through her she just has to find a way to get it out. Unfortunately for her, she's cleaned up the town pretty well. Lately there was only the rare vamp or demon passing through, like the one who attacked Willow. Normally Joan would have moved on by now but this time she had stuck around.

The witch is the reason she's still here if she's honest with herself. Willow had mentioned coming here and how beautiful it was even with the demons. Joan had taken it upon herself to clean the town up. Once that was done, she's basically been twiddling her thumbs, waiting for something to happen. That's when Willow showed up. And now that she had Joan was going to let her walk away. She stops, closes her eyes and taking a deep breath as she triest to calm herself. When she opens her eyes it's Willow's hotel in front of her. Joan doesn't remember leaving the cemetery or the walk through town but that doesn't matter. She knows what she has to do. Casually walking inside, Joan makes her way up the stairs and down the hall towards Willow's room.

Willow steps out of the shower, slipping on her robe. Toweling off her hair, she walks over to the bed when there's a soft knock on her door. She walks over and cracks it slightly. She can't hide the surprised look as she opens the door wider for Joan. Neither girl says anything. Joan just steps past Willow, entering the room. Willow closes the door and finishes drying her hair. She tosses the towel on a chair and turns to Joan. "Well?"

Joan stares at Willow. Her red hair stuck to her head, still dripping slightly over her shoulders and chest, the drops disappearing beneath the robe. She locks eyes with Willow and takes a slow step closer, pausing briefly before a second step. A couple more steps and Joan's standing in front of Willow. Her hand tentatively reaches up, slim fingers tangling in wet hair as she brushes it behind Willow's ear. This time Willow doesn't pull away. Rather, Willow's breath catches in her throat. This isn't exactly the kind of answer she was expecting. Joan's lips part as Willow licks her own. Before either girl is fully aware of it they are kissing. Soft lips suck Willow's bottom lip before both girls grasp the other desperately, tongues slipping past lips to probe deeper.

Neither girl is prepared for the passion they feel in that embrace. Joan grips the back of Willow's head, walking her backwards until both girls fall onto the bed. Joan's hand wastes no time slipping beneath the robe, which is quickly opened. Willow's back and hips arch against Joan as her lips brush the slayers ear with a moan, "Buffy."

"Joan," the slayer growls, grinding her leather clad body hard against Willow's moist naked flesh. Willow's whimper is followed by a nod as her hands slide down Joan's body to her hips, quickly finding the buckle to her pants and working them loose. Joan's hands rip off her t-shirt and she sheds her clothes as Willow wiggles out of the robe, both girls feverishly groping each other as they undress.

When nothing separates the two girls it's Willow on top, an amused Joan looking up at her. Willow pins the slayers hands above her head and grinds slowly against Joan's slick pussy, grinning when Joan bites her lip and her eyes flare. Willow dips her head, playfully taking the slayer's nipple in her mouth. Joan's back arches, pushing her breast into Willow's mouth. Wil teases the nipple between her teeth, tugging gently before biting harder. Joan cries out, her hips pressing hard against Willow's leg. She tries to free her arms and is surprised when Willow has no problem keeping her pinned. Willow looks up at the slayer, her eyes flashing black for the briefest moment. "Not tonight slayer..."

Joan growls, locking her legs around Willow's, trapping the redhead. Using her hips, she rides Willow's thigh, bringing herself closer but at a slow pace. This positions her own thigh between Willow's and the witch groans, pushing against Joan to create more pressure. Her grip loosens ever so slightly and Joan takes advantage. Before she can react, Joan is out of Willow's grasp and after a slight tangling of limbs pinning the redhead in turn. She winks and places painfully slow kisses down Willow's stomach, not even trying to keep her pinned down. Joan watches Willow's skin quiver with each soft brush of her lips. Willow's hands grips the sheets instead of Joan, content to let the slayer have her way for now. Joan's lips barely brush over Willow's wet center when the redhead arches up, her body begging for more. Joan's tongue painfully licks over Willow's pussy at a snails pace. Willow's hand flies to Joan's head, gripping her hair tight as Joan teases Willow mercilessly. With more than a little pressure from Willow, Joan stops teasing and gives Willow exactly what she craves.

Willow pushes against Joan's mouth as hard as possible, trying for something just out of reach. Joan brings her closer and closer but she still can't release. Frustrated that she's still being teased, Willow sits up and pushes Joan away. The slayer, already at the edge of the bed, hits the floor. Willow crawls to the end of the bed and peeks over at a very confused slayer, flat on her ass. Willow snakes herself over Joan's body, kissing along Joan's body until she straddling the slayer's mouth. Willow lowers her dripping pussy over Joan's mouth and fucks her face slowly. Joan slips two fingers into Willow, twisting them to reach her g spot as she nibbles on Willow's clit.

"Mmm God," Willow moans, falling forward on top of Joan. Parting her lower lips with a finger, Willow's tongue lightly teases Joan's inflamed clit. Willow smirks when Joan's hips buck up, feeling only cool air. Joan whines into Willow's pussy which only makes Willow ride her face harder. Slipping three fingers quickly into Joan, Willow's mouth locks down on her clit, sucking hard. Both girls work off each other, only able to last a few more minutes before Willow's orgasm washes over her. Joan hears Willow crying out her name and comes with her. Willow slips off Joan, laying on the floor besides her. Both girls catch their breath, laying still until they feel strong enough to move. They barely make it back to the bed before collapsing into the best nights sleep either have had in years.

Buffy wakes up the next morning with a smile, something she can't remember doing in over a decade. She stretches out, her body snaking around the bed before she sits up. Looking around, her eyebrows arch. "Where the hell am I?"


End file.
